We all have those moments where we play the “What if” regret game. Whether it’s regretting what we did or didn’t do, at some point we wonder. I played that game recently. “What if I took college seriously and didn’t drop out years ago?” “What if I pursued this career?” “What if I dated this guy and didn’t date that one?” “What if I didn’t let fear/laziness/stupidity/people/etc…stop me?” It’s a dangerous but beneficial game. Dangerous in that regret can make you feel just awful about yourself. But, it can be beneficial in teaching you what you really want and don’t want. You can’t go back and change the past, but we have today to change things for the future.
I began having my “age issues” again recently. That’s why I started playing the “what if” game. “Am I too old to be interning somewhere?” “Will turning 30 keep me from work?” I know that’s ridiculous. I feel ridiculous even typing it, but it’s the truth. That’s what I thought and felt. I know I’m not alone in this aging thought process though. Recently actress Demi Moore went through a very public situation that sent her to rehab. It has come out that she struggles big time with staying young in Hollywood. Now, you wont see me hitting on someone Zac Efron’s age and doing wipp-it’s, but it’s just another example of how aging and regrets can effect a person. Writer Anushay Hossain recently wrote a great article on Huffington Post regarding this (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anushay-hossain/demi-moore_b_1260971.html?ref=women), and how we are a youth-based culture. Hopefully Demi will make peace with her path and learn to accept age better. This isn’t the pot calling the kettle, I am learning to accept it.
One of the regrets I had was not finishing school. I went back to school last year and will graduate this August. One of the best decisions I could have ever made. I know without a doubt after all the bumps and stops along my path that the broadcast industry is where I’m meant to be. But, it took dealing with the fears, roadblocks, fun times, crazy times, random jobs, relationships, opportunities and people I have met to make me know for sure. All of it has shaped me into the woman I have become, and continue evolving into. We all have our own story, our own path in life. We must run our own race. We can flirt with the “what if” game, but at the end of the day there is no need for the sliding door. You are where you are in life because that’s what God intended.
A childhood friend once said to me she loves the idea of aging and wrinkles on the face because every wrinkle tells a story. I have to agree with her that they do, and I’ll appreciate them one day. But for now I’m just accepting aging while looking for a great eye cream.