Love & relationships are the #1 topic of songs. Quick, think of a song not about it. But, anyways some of these “love” songs are really just terrible dating advice. Here are my top 5 examples of terrible love songs. (Note, I don’t mean terrible as in performance & production, just in lyrical advice.)

Love The One Your With-Steven Stills

Advice Given: Settle. “Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove And eagle flies with the dove And if you can’t be with the one you love honey Love the one you’re with.” Aside from unrequited love, the most painful feeling is that of settling or being settle for. When you know they’re just killing time with you cause they can’t be with the one they want to or vice versa. Steven Stills (and later Barbara Mandrell) makes it seem like its ok to just fool around with anyone cause your significant other is out-of-town or no longer around. Um, it’s not ok.

Stand By Your Man- Tammy Wynette

Advice Given: Stand By Your Cheater. “Sometimes its hard to be a woman Giving all your love to just one man You’ll have bad times And he’ll have good times Doing things that you don’t understand But if you love him you’ll forgive him Even though he’s hard to understand And if you love him Oh be proud of him ‘Cause after all he’s just a man.” You can maybe make the argument that this song is about standing by your man when he does something stupid, but I think its pretty clear it’s about cheating. And if they cheat, is it worth standing by?

Judy’s Turn To Cry- Lesley Gore

Advice Given: Take back your cheating boyfriend. “Oh, when Judy left with Johnny at my party (my party) And came back wearing his ring, I sat down and cried my eyes out Now, that was a foolish thing
‘Cause now, it’s Judy’s turn to cry Judy’s turn to cry, Judy’s turn to cry ‘Cause Johnny’s come back (Johnny’s come back, come back) to me.” This is the sequel to “It’s My Party.” Ok, let me get this straight. Your boyfriend leaves your birthday party to hook up with some other broad, then comes back to your party with her wearing his ring?! Then, at someone else’s party you run into them together kissing. So, to make him jealous you kiss some other dude. The now ex gets jealous at the fact you were moving on from his loser self so he hits the guy your kissing. You see this as him still being in love and he suddenly wants to get back together-and this makes you excited?! He should stay Judy’s problem now.

If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don’t Want To Be Right- Luther Ingram

Advice Given: Keep cheating since it feels good for you. “And are you wrong to fall in love With a married man And am I wrong trying to hold on To the best thing I ever had If loving you is wrong I don’t wanna be right.” I think this is pretty obvious. Sure, it feels great for the two people sneaking around, but what about the other people involved getting hurt? Clearly they don’t matter…

Every Breath You Take- The Police

Advice Given: If they stop loving you just stalk them. “Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I’ll be watching you.” I still don’t understand how this was the number one wedding song of 1983! Proof that people don’t listen to lyrics most of the time. I mean, Sting even says in interviews it’s about stalking. It’s like the creeper anthem for crying out loud! Stalking is not love, just a possible lawsuit.