Why in a world where we have thousands of ways to communicate-call, text, email, blog, Facebook, tweet, yadda yadda yadda- do we still find it complicated in relationships? This applies to all forms of relationships, but for right now I’m focusing on romantic relationships. You ever get put in that relationship where you’re wondering “Does he/she like me?” “Where is this going?” “Are they happy?” We probably wouldn’t be wondering so much if we felt we could call/text/tell them to their face. If you can’t bring yourself to ask them, then chances are you are a) not in a relationship. at least not a good one. b) insecure about yourself. and/or c) in the very beginning stage (one month or less).
I’ve found myself in this situation numerous times unfortunately. The answer for me in usually A. Occasionally C. I’ve dated over-texters and guys that disappear for anywhere from 3-7 days in a row. The guys that disappear are the worst though. Are they that independent, or is there someone else? In my experience it is unfortunately the latter. How can you not care about my day? Want to share a quip? Have the lack of conscience to text me back when I text you something? It is in no way being needy (unless you’re that person that’s the over-texter). You have to talk on the phone, text, email (something!) in order to communicate. I’ve made excuses for these dudes before. They say they’ve been “busy” or “tired.” Um…I work a few jobs, go to school, have a full social life, stay active and yet still manage to take a minute out of my time to text you back or send you a random text or call. You mean to tell me you’re soooo busy, soooo tired, that taking one minute to shoot me a text or a quick call to say “hi, how are you?” is so time-consuming that you can’t do it? Then guess what? You are no longer dating me. Why would I waste my time when you can’t give one minute? And that’s not being needy, or is it asking a lot. That is having full self-respect and reasonable expectations.
The best relationships are the ones where you are dating your best friend and lover. Someone that you care how their day is going, wish them luck before that big meeting, share a joke or experience. Not over-texting or being annoying. Just natural. Like you are with your friends. But, you get the perk of being romantic and sharing all of yourself with them. True companionship. And worth holding out for.
So if you’re wondering how their day is going-ask them! Just want to tell them you love them-tell them! Not thinking about them at all for days? Then it may be time to break-up or re-evaluate your relationship. Either way, communicate your wants and needs. Ask and you shall receive. Say nothing and always wonder and probably be miserable and anxious. It’s that simple.