Lord knows I’ve had a million first (and last) dates. After swapping horror stories with one of my dearest friends (thanks Suzy!), here are my top DON’TS for first dates:

10. Not opening doors. Don’t give me the whole “feminist movement” crap, it’s gentlemanly and much appreciated.

9. Dressing Sloppy. I spent how long looking hot for you and you’re going to show up looking like you just came from the basketball court, mall or playing video games?!

8. Being Late. This is actually tied for #1 in my book, but for this I’ll place it here. Nothing pisses me off more than my time wasted. If you are running late, at least have the courtesy to call.

7. Not Conversing-Making Us Carry the Whole Convo. I don’t think one person makes a conversation. I get nervousness, but if all you’re giving me is “Uh-huh” “Yup” “Nope”…then i’m beyond bored.

6. Talking Too Much…About Yourself. On the other side of the coin, if you’re monopolizing the conversation just talking about you-your job, your diet, your car, your love of Jersey Shore…and not asking about ME…again, I’m bored. A conversation should be like playing volleyball, back and forth, give and take…

5. Name-Dropping. Ugh, so annoying. I don’t care if you’re friends with this artist, this baller and that agent. It’s one thing if you genuinely have the person in common, it’s a whole other if you’re just full of yourself and using it to seem bigger than you are. You just come off looking lame.

4. Complaining About the Prices at the Bar/Restaurant. That’s nothing to us but a HUGE red flag that you’re a) broke b) don’t think we’re worth the prices c) cheap. Do yourself (and us) a favor and look ahead at the prices before agreeing to go to a place so you don’t look like an ass.

3. Getting Drunk and/or Stoned. You would think this would go without saying, but apparently people need a reminder.

2. Complaining. About your job, your life, society, your family, etc… Didn’t anyone ever tell you whiners are wieners? Well, there, now I’ve told you.

1. Assuming Your Coming Upstairs At The End Of the Date. That’s funny, I never invited you, and you never asked. You just assume after dinner/drinks/show you’re getting the privilege of seeing my nest. I’m here to be the bearer of bad news, if she doesn’t invite you don’t assume you’re going to. If you are that eager, at least ask. But don’t be shocked if she says no. It is only the first date for crying out loud.

Also a major one: DO NOT bash other religions, races, sexual orientations, etc… You don’t know the other person yet! It’s a quick way to not get a second date. I can’t even begin to tell you how many guys complained about Christianity-obviously not knowing yet that I am a Christian and then proceeded to insult me for my beliefs. None made it to date #2. I’m friends with people of all races, religions, sexual orientations, so if a guy makes anti remarks then he stands no chance.

Dating is supposed to be fun! Lighten up and keep it casual! Take a shower, look nice and don’t go into it thinking you’re either going to get laid or marry the person. It’s actually much more simple then we make it.