The Heart of the Matter


There are a lot of wounded people walking around. A lot of pent-up anger. A lot of holding on when we should be letting go. We have to find forgiveness. I know that’s easier said than done-BELIEVE ME. But, it’s better for you to let go and move on than to keep holding on to the hurt. The person that hurt you isn’t effected by your anger or sadness, so the only person you’re hurting is yourself. I’m not just preaching this, I’m still working on practicing it. So I know first hand how hard it is. But it feels so great when you get down to the heart of the matter, as the song says, and let it go.

I have a very close friend that dealt with this recently. She dated a man she loved, cared about and trusted, but it didn’t work out. Months later he came back around asking for forgiveness and wanted to get back together. We all warned her that leopard’s spots don’t change, but she has a big heart and agreed to go back. But, as soon as he got what he wanted, he disappeared. Didn’t text her till weeks later. But, by that point it was way too late and she never responded back. That was about a year ago, and up until recently she was still holding on to the pain of the betrayal. She was over him, but not the situation.

I think we can all relate to her in that way. We have things that happen in our life: betrayal of significant other, family member, friend, co-worker…but we hold on to the pain of the betrayal. I’m not saying you’re wrong in being pissed off, and if it recently happened I totally get it, but a year or more later and it’s time to find some peace. As Don Henley says in the song, “keep carrying that anger, it’ll eat you up inside baby.” And it will. So if you’re holding on to pain, anger, resentment…try to let it go. Forgive and remember it’s not you, its them. You can’t change them or the situation. You can just hold your head up high and move on knowing you’re the bigger person. Forgiveness is the first chance at inner peace. And peace feels much better than pain.


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