Energy Vampires


You wake up in a great mood. The day is yours! Then you get to work and that negative co-worker starts bitching about their morning so far, how other co-workers annoy them and before you know it you already start getting sucked in. Suddenly the pile of papers is causing anxiety, you start thinking about your own problems and you end up going home in a pissed off mood and taking it out on others. The energy vampire managed to suck the joy out of you. They come in different forms and at different times. Like the friend that no matter what, every time you call her or him they have some drama going on. They’re fighting with their significant other, their neighbors-cousins-cat died suddenly and, well, the world may as well be caving in. They’re addicted to drama and/or pain and before you know it you’re exhausted from being there for them, again, for the billionth time.

I had a friend once that I thought for the most part had it together. We all have our issues, and she had hers, but I was going through an extremely rough time so I hadn’t really noticed how bad hers were deep down. I would go out shopping with her with no intension of really getting anything, just being there with her while she shopped. But before I knew it I would drop almost $200 shopping for clothes and things I didn’t really want or need because she’d convince me I look great in it or needed it and, well, she was spending just as much if not more. Here she was using shopping as a coping mechanism and sucked me into it because I was using going out as a coping mechanism. Misery apparently loves company…and debt. Suddenly as I was realizing what I was doing and getting better,  I started to realize she was always complaining, always unhappy and no matter what you said or did she would try to drag you down with her. Like Eeyore in heels, she was well dressed and unhappy. And she managed to suck the energy out of me.

It’s hard being around energy vampires and not letting them get to you, especially when It’s a family member or friend. You want to be there for them, but even with love there are limits. We all deserve to be happy, but energy vampires want to suck us into their world of pain, sadness, anger…whether intentionally or not. When we start to feel even a tinge of being drained we have to be strong enough to walk away from them. The sooner you realize you’re in the company of one you must smile and walk away. You can’t save them. I’m not saying don’t be there at all for them, but don’t try to be their therapist/mother/crutch. Unless of course that’s the role you really want…

One Comment Add yours

  1. Cara Leighton says:

    It truly is amazing how you get sucked in and then when you take a step back you realize…whoa that isn’t the persona I want to have. I LOVE this blog. Knowing other people are in this situation daily makes it a lot easier to cope with taking that step back and letting people deal with their life on their own terms. As a friend/family member you can only do or say so much before needing to take that step away.


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